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PRE-CANA INSTRUCTIONAL SESSIONS INVENTORY

Instructions:

These inventories are for your private use and are not to be answered together. You are asked to read each question, answering truthfully on the basis of your knowledge and feeling at the moment. Upon completion, exchange your inventories, read carefully and then discuss each question in an open, loving and receptive manner.

Session I: COMMUNICATION AND MARRIED LIFE INVENTORY

A. There are no right or wrong answers. Check () one of the three spaces--" OFTEN", "SOMETIMES", or "RARELY".

OFTEN SOMETIMES RARELY

Does he/she pay you compliments? Does your future partner's voice irritate you? Does he/she nag you? Are you disturbed when your future partner shows anger with you? Are you usually the listener in a conversation? Do you play conversation games -- pretend you are listening while your mind is actually far away? Does he/she interrupt and anticipate what you wish to say? Does he/she say one thing but mean another? Does he/she try to grasp what you want to say, even when you have difficulty expressing it? Does he/she talk about outside interests with you? Does he/she tell you what Is most important in his/her life? Do your future in-laws make you feel uncomfortable? Can you discuss problems without being overcome by your feelings? Do money discussions lead to unresolved disagreements? Are his/her feelings and attitudes a riddle to you? Can you discuss personal problems?

CIRCLE THE QUESTIONS THAT YOU FEEL REQUIRE FURTHER DIALOGUE.

B. Complete these statements, writing the first thing that comes to mind. 1. 2. What worries me about marriage is ____________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ The quality I admire most about my future partner is _______________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________

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3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.

The quality I disapprove about him/her is ________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ The biggest adjustment I may have to make in marriage is __________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ The hardest subject to discuss with my future partner is ____________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ I get angry when he/she _____________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ What puzzles me about my future partner is _____________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ Concerning money and my future marriage, I think ________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ With my in-laws I am ________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ The character of our social life is ______________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________

C. Why have I decided to marry you?

Session II:

HUMAN SEXUALITY AND RESPONSIBLE PARENTHOOD INVENTORY

4 ­ Definitely No 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4

A. Circle the number that best describes your thinking: 1 - Definitely Yes 2 - I Believe So 3 ­ Probably Not

Do you find your love motivating you to please your loved one rather than seek your own satisfaction?......................................................................................................................... Are your life decisions made in consultation with one another?.......................................... Do you feel restful and at ease when you are together rather than being under a strain?.. Is there a strong physical attraction to the loved one?........................................................ Do you admire the person for what he/she is and what they have accomplished in life?.... Are you proud to be seen with him/her in public and by your friends or relatives?.............. Do you believe your love could weather the storms of financial distress, sickness, and serious misunderstandings?................................................................................................ Is he/she always striving to put you in a favorable light when you are out among friends?. Has your love grown since you became serious about each other?.................................... Do you see in this person the qualities you want in your children?..................................... Do you love each other with equal intensity and are you sure your love is not one-sided?. Do you have a sense of confidence and trust in your partner?............................................ Do you know whether he/she will be a source of strength for whatever difficulties may come during your married life?............................................................................................ Do you think that good fortune or bad will happen to us as a couple and accept it as such?.....

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B. Expections: Fill in your thoughts on each. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. Sex is ___________________________________________________________________ in marriage. When it comes to sexual pleasure, my needs _______________________________ and my future spouse's needs ____________________________________________________________________. Sexual experience without tenderness is ____________________________ and love without sex is __________________________________________________________________________________. I feel most comfortable with my future partner when ________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________. I feel most uncomfortable with my future partner when ______________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________. Family planning is ___________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________. Decisions about family planning will be made by ___________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________. We can best help our children grow and mature by _________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________. My parents' child rearing techniques were ____________________________________, but I will raise my children to ______________________________________________________________________. In a mature family, children are ________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________.

C. Questions for further discussion: Take time to discuss together. 1. When we are married, how much sexual intimacy do you think is appropriate? Be specific. 2. Suppose I don't like sex, what would you do? 3. Which types of family planning are you aware of? What would we do if the method we chose did not work? 4. Suppose I were to have an affair and later told you, what would you do? Would you trust me-- would you forgive me? 5. How informed are you in regard to the Catholic Church's teaching concerning responsible parenthood? Be specific. 6. How tense are you answering these questions?

Session III:

SACRAMENTALITY AND LITURGY INVENTORY

A. Sacrament: Fill in your thoughts on each. My thinking about God is _________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ Jesus Christ is _________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ The Catholic Church is ____________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ The sacrament of Matrimony is ____________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ Marriage in the church is _________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ Mutual love means _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________

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B. What are your own thoughts about what the following statements mean to you? "I wish to live with you `til death do us part."___________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ "I will be faithful to you."__________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ "Jesus Christ will influence our way of life." ___________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ "We will share an openness to God in personal prayer and liturgical worship."________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ C. Liturgy: Put a in the appropriate block indicating the degree of cooperation

EXCELLENT

GOOD

FAIR

POOR

Our planning together for the church ceremony Our planning together for the wedding reception My future partner's cooperation Parents' reaction to wedding plans Future in-laws' reaction to wedding plans Parents' cooperation Future in-laws' cooperation D. The Wedding Day: Fill in your thoughts. My expectations: _______________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ My future expectations: __________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ My parents' expectations: ________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ My future in-laws' expectations: ___________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ My disappointment so far: _______________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ My most cherished dream: ______________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ E. Questions for further discussion. 1. What's your idea of morality? 2. How do you involve God in a decision that will affect your life forever? 3. In making a moral decision, I should assess all factors, choose one course and ask God to bless my decision. Does my fiancé encourage me this way? 4. Conscience is a decision-making operation of my mind. How often do I act on impulse or on feelings about certain difficult decisions? 5. What questions about morality do we need most need to talk about to each other?

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