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WITH

APOLOGIES

TO

PROUST

AND

PINKETY

FAIR

AND

PURPLE

HANDBAGS

FUNFAIR

The Year of the Handbag! You!re buying them, carrying them, talking about them. But do you know as much as you think? Where do they come from? What are they for? Here to answer our questions is the Queen of Handbags, BATE SKADE.

What is a handbag really for, Bate?

For my keys and lipstick, silly

(EDS: this was a trick question. Handbags are to carry your friends in.)

Where do handbags come from?

I make them in my handbag factories

(EDS: sorry this is utter nonsense, Bate, and you know it. Handbags are born, not made. And you don't buy them; you adopt them.)

Clasp, Clutch, or Grab? What about Gobble?

There!s no such thing as a Gobble

What would you say to those who claim your handbags are born on a pink planet and fly through space and arrive stores every spring?

I!d say one word: Codswollop!

How about those who claim there is a Big Bad Handbag by the name of Clasp who is forever kidnapping baby handbags?

I!ve never heard of anything so silly

(EDS: Just because it's silly, doesn't mean it isn't true, Bate.)

Have you ever been frightened by a Handbag?

Of course not, what a foolish question

Or chased by a handbag?

Don!t be ridiculous! Me? Chased? I!d NEVER be scared of a handbag ... (EDS: our interview was tragically cut short. BATE was kidnapped by Clasp!)

DON!T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU!

become a Handbag Friend AT ONCE!

www.sallylloyd-jones.com

NO HANDBAGS WERE HARMED DURING THE MAKING OF THIS ARTICLE

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