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useful websites

Forfurtherinformationoncourses and a range of fact sheets on career planning, visit: · w studentservices/counselling/ issues/assertive.htm ·

CommuniCation skills -- ConfliCt management and assertive CommuniCation

Do you experience conflict in your life, either between you, your peers, coach, parents or friends, which is affecting your performance? Knowing how you communicate with others and, in turn, how they communicate with you, might place you in a better position to deal with conflict now and in the future. There are three main styles of communication: assertive, non-assertive and aggressive. Assertive Being direct and honest when communicating your opinions, feelings, needs and rights in a way that does not violate the personal rights of others. It involves standing up for yourself, while acknowledging the opinions of others, and working towards a win­win solution. Non-assertive (or submissive) Allowing others to violate your rights by regarding their needs, opinions and rights as more important than your own. Non-assertiveness can lead to feelings of hurt, anxiety and anger. Aggressive Expressing and pursuing your rights at the expense of others, which creates the impression of disrespect for the other person. In effect, you are getting your own way, no matter what other people think. This, in turn, can lead to people having less respect for you. Assertive communication is the most effective form of communication as it allows you to maintain relationships and demonstrate understanding.

who to ContaCt for more information

Contact your local Athlete Career and Education (ACE) adviser for more information or to further discuss this area as part of your career and education action plan.

What you can do from here

Below are some simple tips for assertive communication: · Deliveryourmessagedirectlytotheintendedrecipient. · Use`I'statements(forexample,`Iwantto...'or`Ifeel...') · `Own'yourmessage(trysaying,`I'dreallylikeitifyou...' · Askforandencourageclear,specificfeedback. · Bespecificandobjectivewhendescribingthebehaviourorsituation. · onotusegeneralisationssuchas,`youalways'or`younever'.Focusonthe D mostrecentcase,saying,`Inoticedtodayyou...whenyoudothatIfeel...'. · Avoid`why'questions. · Avoidbecomingemotionalwhendescribinghowitmakesyoufeel.

This information sheet is part of the ACE Toolbox.

Please turn over

· especificabouttheactionrequiredfromtheotherperson,taking B into account their rights, needs and feelings. · onotbeapologeticaboutyourfeelings,rightsoropinions.Say`no' D tounreasonablerequests,alsowithoutbeingapologetic.Offeringan explanation is strictly optional. · Onlyaddressoneissueatatime. · esuretoacknowledgeboththefeelingsshownbytheotherperson, B and any issues they bring up, then immediately return to your point. · aintaineyecontact(ifculturallyappropriate)andusetoneofvoice M and body language to reinforce your message. · fyoucannotfindawaytocompromise,youmightfinditusefulto I `agreetodisagree'.


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